Bittersweet
by Astaldodhol
Summary: RLSB slash. Remus is confused about his sexuality. Sirius is always grumpy. Lily and James are having a angstfree realtionship. What exactly is going on?


Author's notes: I haven't written a proper fanfiction in ages. Lately I've had writers block, which is the Anti- Christ. So please don't flame. Flaming is mean. However, Constructive criticism is welcoming with love and cookies. Disclaimer: I don't own the Characters of Harry Potter. If I did I wouldn't be writing a fanfiction. I'd be at Disney land. - 

It was raining outside.  
Remus Lupin was sitting cross-legged in front of the Gryffindor common room fire. He had just come back from the sheiking shack, and he had lots of homework to catch up on. Oddly they always got the most homework during the full moon period. Still. He was happy to be back, in the warmth of the common room.  
Remus sighed and ran his fingers though his greasy hair and looked at the magic powered clock, it read 2 a.m He hadn't seen Sirius since he visited Remus in the Sheiking Shack the night before. He was supposed to come to the Sheiking Shack in the morning to give Remus a potion, but he didn't come. He hadn't seen him.  
Remus looked down onto his potions book. Where could Sirius be? He was never out late, not alone. If he was out in the castle late it would be with Remus or James. Sirius never worked alone.  
James was out with Lily. As they do almost every night. They're love never really seemed to stop. It was somehow perfect. Angst-free. Remus had been in a few relationships. But apparently he wasn't their type, or he wasn't affectionate enough, or some other excuse that Remus didn't know of. Remus had never felt anything for girls anyway. He had begain to wonder…  
Was he gay?  
Maybe he was. He didn't feel like investigating his sexuality. If he were gay, what would his friends think? Would they be open-minded? Would they accept him the way he is? Remus didn't want to find out.  
The porthole opened and James and Lily came into the common room holding hands. Both rosy faced. Both of them looked like they had been outside in the rain. 'Hey Remus' Lily said as soon as she saw Remus. Remus nodded at her. She turned to James.  
'I need to get to bed' she kissed him quickly on the mouth and ran upstairs to the girls dormitories.  
James sighed and sat on one of the armchairs by the fire.  
'How are you doing?' James asked looking serious.  
'I'm ok..' Remus replied, not sounding convincing.  
'Oh'  
'Where's Sirius?' Asked Remus. He looked up at James.  
'I don't know, I haven't seen him since dinner.' James replied. Remus sighed sadly.  
'Why do you ask'  
Remus shrugged. He didn't know why he wanted to know where Sirius is. He was probably stealing something from the storeroom, to use in a bomb. Maybe he was caught and having a long discussion with the headmaster.  
Maybe he was out... Maybe he had found a girl. Maybe they were sitting in an empty classroom. Kissing...Talking...Laughing.  
Remus didn't know why...But thinking of Sirius with another girl. It hurt him.  
James moaned and muttered something about going to bed. He had obviously given up getting any form of speech from Remus. He was also tired. Kissing is a alot of hard work.  
Remus didn't seem to hear James. James just rolled his eyes, and went up the boy's staircase.  
Remus carried on with his studying. Another hour passed until the porthole opened again. This time it was Sirius, wearing his robe hood over his face. He was soaking wet. Remus felt nervous.  
'Where have you been?' Asked Remus.  
'Out' Replied Sirius. He didn't sound very happy.  
'It's nearly 3...I've been worried about you. Tell me'  
'I've been out. It's none of your fucking business. I'm going to bed' Sirius raised his voice. He wasn't in the mood for Remuses undying compassion.

For the rest of the night Remus couldn't help but think.  
Sirius hates him.

-

Sirius went into the Boys dormitory. Everyone seemed to be sleeping. Peter was snoring. So was Oliver. He begain to undress out of his soaking wet clothes.  
'Sirius'  
'Yeah'  
'How did it go'  
'Fine, James. Just fucking fine'

-

The next morning Remus had a shower and skipped breakfast. He wasn't feeling hungry. But by the time lunch comes around he'd be starving. He just didn't want to see Sirius right now.  
He knew how Sirius was. He had known him for 6 years. When Sirius was grumpy he'd take it out on people. Even his closest friends. He never said that he was sorry. Sirius wasn't full of emotion, and if he cared about someone he wouldn't show it. But he still cared. He'd beat up anyone who looked at his friends the wrong way. That's how he showed his love.

Remus went to his first class, which was transfiguration. He sat beside Peter who was making strange sounds. Which was nothing unusual. He looked at Sirius. He was talking to James. He was smiling. He was obviously in a better mood than he was last night.  
Remus sighed sadly. 'What's wrong?' Asked Peter.  
'Nothing…Nothing at all' Remus replied.

-

Author's notes: That's all for now. I hope it's ok. I know I'm rusty. Please review and I will post up more.

I know, it's short.

-Matty.


End file.
